thirty

It's been a few months but I recently have came to the realization that I'm THIRTY. This big birthday happened four days after Lo was born so it wasn't something that was in the forefront of my attention at the time. Now it's starting to sink in and I'm strangely comforted by it.

My twenties were crazy.
The first five years were a tornado of screwed up relationships, emotional issues, and screwing up time and time again. I was a single mom, living in my hometown where there was no real place for me. Struggling daily to figure out life in general. Spending so much time blaming everyone in the world for my problems and letting the world fall apart anytime something didn't go well.
The last five were spent learning to fall in love with life and finally becoming secure. In 2012 I moved to a liberal bubble in the northwest corner of a very red state. Fell in love with a girl I met online-- the girl I ended up marrying. First couple of years we struggled, well I struggled. With learning that I'm worth loving.

Now at the start of my thirties I'm ready to dive into this new chapter of my life.
I want to be the bad-ass I've always hoped and wanted to be.
No more excuses or guilt.
Live this life for myself, my wife and our beautiful kiddos.
I plan to create a world where happiness and creativity are always at the top of my list of to dos.